Podcast Host, Professor, Writer

Tag: women’s issues

5 Ways Women Can Find Their Voice

English: Vera Komissarzhevskaya as Nora in Ibs...

English: Vera Komissarzhevskaya as Nora in Ibsen’s A Dolls House (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Last night I saw A Doll’s House at BAM. The play by Henrik Ibsen debuted in 1879. The message is still relevant 2014. And that’s not a good thing.

Ibsen was was inspired by the belief that “a woman cannot be herself in modern society,” since it is “an exclusively male society, with laws made by men and with prosecutors and judges who assess feminine conduct from a masculine standpoint.” His protagonist Nora lives this life. She is a pet, a bird made to sing for her husband. I was so annoyed; I didn’t think I could sit through Nora being objectified. And then a glimmer, we find out Nora saved her husband by secretly taking out a loan and secretly repaying it (even though her imbecile of a husband accuses her of being a spendthrift and clothes horse because she continually asks him for money). Nora knows everyone is underestimating her, but she keeps playing the role, dancing for dollars. I am again annoyed. And then in the finale, shouted down by her husband, Nora finally looks up – and leaves him. Pump fist, “You go girl!”

Nora walks away to find her voice. It is something we women are still doing 135 years later! Over the past year, I have been listening to my female friends talk about feeling unheard. Not just unappreciated – unheard. We are losing our voice as our families grow and there are more to take care of, as our work responsibilities become more demanding with new job titles, as more people take our shrinking time. When we constantly give, we lose our voice.

So on this International Women’s Day, here are 5 ideas to get our voice back.

1. Roar.

Yes maybe listen to Katy Perry. But also give yourself a shout out – literally. Shout how awesome you are, it feels so good. Get your friends to do it with you, and definitely your kids. I was leading my Girl Scout troop this week and telling them about Women’s History month and we shouted out several times about how women rock. We talked about famous women and the contributions women have made. We celebrated each other and talked about what each girl wanted to be when she grew up. I wish all of these little girls grow up in a world where they never feel their voice is unheard.

2. Write yourself a love note.

Even when we hear thank you and praise from friends, family and colleagues, we fail to give ourselves praise. Take a minute and write down what you have done in the past day, week or month that you are proud of. You’ll see how long the list is and you’ll know that you – and your voice – is irreplaceable.

3. Spend at least one hour every week not thinking about anyone else.

I was going say give yourself an hour say everyday, but I know that’s unrealistic when we are pulled in twenty different directions every minute. Let’s start with once a week: lock yourself in the bathroom for an hour and take a bath or sit down and indulge in one hour straight of reading that book that’s been sitting on your bedside table. Just you time. These moments help redraw the outline of you because when you are constantly caring for others or working, your outline fades and you become a shadow.

4. Save up for a treat.

We put away money for college for the kids. We save up for a family vacation. But when do we indulge in something just for us? Something impractical, something totally selfish? We feel so guilty when there are other priorities. But ladies, we are the priority! I am dreaming of saving up enough money to go to Mandy Aftel and have her make me my own perfume. A scent that says Tatiana. That is mine. My voice. (and for those of you who remember Tatiana perfume from the 1980s, that is totally NOT my scent!)

5. Reconnect.

Call your mom, sister, oldest friend. Do not email or text. Call. We need to HEAR the voices that inspired us in our lives. And in that way we will know our own voice.

Happy International Women’s Day!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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International Women’s Day, C-Suite News and the Juggling Act

A 1932 Soviet poster for International Women's...

A 1932 Soviet poster for International Women’s Day. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On this International Women’s Day, I am once again in angst over the very very delicate topic of women finding a balance between career and family. I struggle every day as many of my peers I know do. In a recent interview with a leading Latin American CEO for a very timely report on women in senior leadership, I was able to articulate it out loud because of her frankness. She said – and I agree – that women carry more of the guilt of not being 100% focused on career or family, the guilt of always thinking you are missing something when you are at the other. I know I can’t be 100% when I want to do two very separate things to the best of my ability, I don’t want to give up either but I also don’t have a clone. Sound familiar?

I was heartened in writing the recent Forbes Insights / Grant Thornton study that showed that women are making headway to top spots in the corporate world globally. This even though many of the CEOs and C-Suite executives I interviewed said that they still see many women leaving mid-career to start families, and it is a challenge to bring these women back into the workforce. A weak pipeline of women moving up the ranks means that it will be difficult to crack today’s tally of 24% of women in senior leadership.

I’ve written more about the study on my Forbes blog; NYSE Euronext today hosted several conferences around the globe bringing women leaders together. Starting the conversation is important because from the numbers we can see what progress is or isn’t being made and know that we need to do more to harness the energy of half the global population.

Back in the 1930s, the Soviet state tried to do just that redefining gender roles. Richard Stites, a former professor of mine at Georgetown writes in Revolutionary Dreams: Utopian Vision and Experimental Life in the Russian Revoltion that “women were promoted, put into technical schools, and afforded wide opportunities to enter and rise in economic life, to establish their own identity through personal earnings, and even to gain a certain sense of self-respect and public respect as well.” The 1932 poster says it all.

But where did the promise go then? And possibly today? Stites continues, “women were saddled with a triple burden: of wage earning in the economy, of principal responsibility for domestic work and child care, and of public or voluntary work. This stripped them of their ability to use economic opportunity to advance along paths to power equal to men.”

We can get our power back by education, talent management and flexible work options says the report I wrote. Let’s keep looking for more solutions.

 

 

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